I run four companies, supporting 27 clients and 15 leads in three continents. I get messages on 3 phones, via SMS and WhatsApp. I monitor 35 inboxes in Gmail, 4 in Outlook. I also get tagged constantly on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Tiktok, and receive messages via 4 pages plus my personal profile on Messenger. So when I say I struggle to keep up, I know everyone, whether neurodivergent or neurotypical, will understand why. But what’s worse, is when I need to reply.
Within my beautiful, spicy brain, I have a wealth of knowledge, both general and specific. I have some incredibly niche information, which is invaluable. But if you put me on the spot, one of two things happens:
1) You get an incomplete garble, or,
2) I will info dump you about everything even remotely related to what you asked.
And BY GOD am I aware!
And so, most of the time, I will pop a GIF of Eminem singing ‘Now This Looks Like A Job For Me’ (Lyrics from Without Me) in the comments or as a reply, and ask them to drop an email to my company account so I can reply properly.
The thing is, many people never do.
I want to talk to them. I want to reply. But I want to do them a service with my reply. Part of my ADHD is that I struggle with formulating my thoughts, and doing so in a coherent and streamlined way takes time.
If you send it anywhere else, I’ll likely forget. I get around this by asking for an email address, sending a scheduler, or screenshotting a message and emailing it to my PA to remind me to follow up.
I find it highly stressful thinking about all the people who never email. And there are dozens every week. But the truth is, that’s not on me. If they cannot respect the strategies I use to manage my streams of information, they aren’t people I really want to work with. I try not to beat myself up – because the right people will always find a way to stick to what I need. And I have so many wonderful clients.
But please, put it in an email. I promise, when you do, you will get what you need. It will be clear, coherent, detailed and accurate. And if you ask my clients, it could be totally life-changing!!!
Stephanie Ward is a spicy-brained serial entrepreneur, directing three companies and a charity dedicated to serving disabled people and the voluntary sector.
She also impulse purchased a spaniel, parents an autistic son, and has a long-suffering neurotypical partner, neat-freak Bryan.
For me, that also allows me to re-mark something as unread, even when I’ve read it, so that I don’t forget that someone is waiting for a response. I’ve lost count of how many friends I’ve upset because I’ve accidentally opened their text and then I lose the notification marker, and forget that they’re waiting for a reply.
I absolutely identify with this!
I have both asked and *been* asked this question, and I always think it’s a reasonable request. I’ve never thought about it as something more intentional, like an accommodation, but it makes perfect sense! Thanks for making that case so clearly.